Today is the most hopeful and optimistic day of the year.
This is great!
Whatever goals or resolutions you have set for yourself, I am excited for you!
We’re all trying to better ourselves, and even though things haven’t turned out the way we wanted them to in the past, we hope this time it will be different.
Musician Nick Cave describes hope as “hope with a broken heart” and I think that’s very accurate. We all try to be different when change is so hard.
If you’re trying to create a new exercise habit or change the number on the scale this year, I salute you. Setting a goal for change is very commendable.
But to give ourselves the best chance of achieving our goal, we need to combine the goal with some self-reflection and self-awareness.
Here are TWO questions to ask yourself as we head into 2025…
Question 1: What’s different this time?
I’m proud of you for starting again.
But what is different about this effort?
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.
The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
If you choose the same goal or strategy you’ve tried (unsuccessfully) in the past, the end result will be the same: another wasted year of “why can’t I do it?”
Well, think about what’s different this time!
Don’t just go on “XYZ diet” or “lose all sugar forever” or “train for a marathon” again, especially if you’ve tried those things before and couldn’t stick with them.
Something must be different this time:
- Make fewer changes.
- Pick ONE goal and focus on it.
- Choose a different workout routine.
- Choose a different diet or diet change.
- Choose a different time of day to exercise.
- Recruit a friend to join you so you don’t have to go it alone.
- Make your new desired behavior ,beneficial or necessary,.
Prove to yourself that you have learned something from your previous efforts. Don’t let past failures be in vain – they showed you what doesn’t work for you.
Try something different this time!
Question 2: What are you afraid of?
You’re full of momentum right now, and that’s great.
But three weeks from now, life will happen and something will go wrong.
What has been your tendency when this happens in the past?
We ask each ,NF Coaching Client, before they start, “Why does it stress you out the most?”
This answer is something they know as a result of their previous efforts:
Will you get busy and decide to “take a break until things slow down?” Large! Now you know when that little voice in your head says this, you can prepare for it, plan to do something different, and decide not to have to hear that voice in your head.
Are you going to have a bad day and go completely off the rails? Large! Now you know that when you have a bad day, you can forgive yourself, not look back with anger or guilt, and get right back on track.
Are you planning to give up even though you really really want to move on? Large! It happens to all of us when motivation wanes after a few weeks. Consider ,adding a Pact of Ulysses, guard against your weaknesses or bet with a friend to keep you accountable.
NF coach Matt Myers was recently at ,Mental Golf Podcast with Josh Nichols, – and at 24:30 into the episode, Matt pointed out something to Josh that surprised him:
“You told me before you started, ‘I know I’m going to come out of the gates HARD, but about 3 weeks later, I’m going to burn out and disappear.’
And I said, ‘Thanks for letting me know,’ and I had all these alarms and alerts ready to contact you repeatedly around the 21st!”
Josh had the self-awareness to know where he would scatter in the future, he and Coach Matt planned it out and got over the hump together.
Since then, they’ve been working together for two months (and counting) and Josh has only missed one check-in day, and missing a day hasn’t caused Josh’s normal all-or-nothing behavior!
This time COULD be different
We all intend to change, even when we are self-conscious…
We often bite off more than we can chew:
Our goals and hopes often outweigh the reality that we are fallible, busy, complicated people living unpredictable lives.
It does not matter!
If we know these things, if we can try differently…then even if this next Trying also doesn’t work, we can remove this strategy from the list of possible successful paths and try again.
That’s what life is all about anyway: try, fail, adjust, restart.
-Steve
PS: If you don’t want to go on this trip alone, I’d be honored if you could check it out ,the NF Coaching program,.
Our coaches are amazing and we would love to help you achieve your goals. We’ve had a TON of signups these past few days, which has made me really excited to help so many new people.
