Entrepreneur Peter Barton was at the top of the world.
Until it wasn’t.
Burton lived a life that everyone was dreaming of, took care of him very well and was a great husband and dad in his family.
And then on a fateful day, his world was crushed:
Diagnosis of terminal cancer.
Work became less important, other experiences stopped to keep meaning. He tried to take the pieces while mourning a future that could not live. He would not see his children grow up or grow old with his wife.
Barton shared these thoughts and experiences in a completely heart book called Does not fade; And a paragraph is always stuck with me.
One day, Peter’s body was destroyed, succumbing to cancer, his head aches and his spirit was lower than ever. Defeat, he told his supportive woman:
“I just don’t see the point.”
Replied, “find one.”
Finding the spot became the point.
Barton received a life sentence and chose to “find the point of life” by writing a book that his children could read. A book that other people could read and analyze the meaning in their lives.
I was thinking that “Finding the spot became the point” while I re -examined another of my favorite books, inspired by a recent episode for my friend Bretty McKay’s Art of bravery podcast.
The search for man for meaning
Victor Frankl was a survivor, psychotherapist and creator of a type of treatment called “Logotherapy”.
After surviving Auschwitz’s horror and other concentration camps, he wrote the first plan for his book, The search for man for meaning; in nine days.
He even designed to publish it anonymously, but the last second was convinced to attach his name to add some weight to his story for survival.
Since then, 16+ million copies have passed and translates into 50+ languages.
Frankl’s thinking school, Logotherapy, is built around the idea that “the concept of life is to find the meaning of life for every person. It often mentions Nietzsche’s famous saying:
“The one who has a reason to live for he can withstand almost how.”
Throughout this book, Frankl explains his thoughts and thoughts of life as he watched thousands of people die or murder.
What is most impressive in this short book is Frankl’s ability to find meaning and hope for humanity in one of the worst human atrocities ever committed.
The second half of the book dives deeper in “Speech Therapy”, encourages us to find our own particular “meaning”.
“The concept of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from time to time.
> What matters, then, is not the meaning of life in general, but rather the specific concept of a person’s life at a given moment. ”
You may not be diagnosed with terminal cancer, nor suffer the atrocities of a concentration camp.
But there was probably a point in your life where you ask, “Why do I do what I do?”
We can think that the question means that there is something wrong with us. That we are not living right now. That we need help.
Frankl feels different. He believes that this question this question is critical and healthy:
“The greatest task of any person is to find meaning in his life.”
What if the unpleasant conversation with yourself was actually part of the process?
What if this question was the point?
The “big because”
We talk a lot about “what’s your big why?” Here at Nerd Fitness Rebellion.
If we think about it logically, we try to force ourselves to do things We are not wired (or required) to do.
Naturally We do not want to burn extra calories, get up early to exercise and avoid filling our face with comfort foods.
It requires extra effort, we have to feel hungry, we need to change our behavior. And our brains don’t want to do that!
This may not be “meaning of life” things type … but it is a really strong reminder to help us remain consistent when life gives us anything but consistency:
- Why will we get up at 5 in the morning and go for a walk when it’s cold outside?
- Why do we say yes to salads and lean protein when there are cookies and donuts?
- Why do we sweat (gross) and take weights (uncomfortable)?
- Why do we force ourselves to breathe vigorously and run a 5k or say yes to a yoga class where we feel deeply self-conscious?
We’re talking about it a lot with Our clients and its members Community:
Having a constant reminder of WHY We do this often can be the thing that keeps us on the right track during these most difficult times as the motivation has worn:
Maybe we want to break the generational cycle of an unhealthy relationship with the foods we learned from our parents.
Maybe we want our children to see that we can be a strong mom, that it is okay to sweat and push ourselves.
Maybe we want to feel better about ourselves when looking in the mirror or that we know that we always feel better after a workout than we felt beforeA workout?
Your challenge this week is to ask yourself why you are here:
- Why are you willing to go through the unpleasant thoughts and feelings that come with change?
- Why are you willing to try to learn a new skill or adjust the way you eat?
- Why are you willing to get up early and spend less time on your couch?
Continue deeper with your reasons. Continue to ask “why” and see what is going out.
Write it.
Put it in a post-it note and glue one in your refrigerator, bath mirror, car dashboard.
-Steve
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