Josh Allen and Hailee Steinfeld recently shared that they are expecting their first child. Pregnancy announcements by public figures are common, but she traveled more than most.
What stood out wasn’t the celebrity factor or his career milestones, but the language 29-year-old Buffalo Bills quarterback Allen used when talking about his partner. Referring to the 29-year-old actor and singer Steinfeld as his “beloved teammate” resonated beyond sports media, tapping into something many pregnant women silently hope for.
Pregnancy is often physically focused on a person. Emotionally, though, it works best when it feels shared.
Because language matters more than grand gestures
Support during pregnancy is not just about what one does. It’s also about how they talk about the experience.
Small phrases can hold weight. Feeling described as a burden, an afterthought, or someone who needs help can feel very different than being spoken to as a partner in the process.
Many parents remember the words of support long after the pregnancy is over, sometimes more vividly than the logistics or tasks completed along the way.
Related: How mums are using AI to reduce mental strain – what actually helps (and what doesn’t)
Pregnancy is not a solo job, even when one body is doing the work
There is no way around the natural imbalance of pregnancy. A body carries medical risks, hormonal changes and physical stress.
Recognizing that reality doesn’t mean pregnancy has to feel emotionally isolated. Support is not equal. It is about shared responsibility for planning, worrying, adapting and preparing.
For many parents, what they crave most is not help, but presence.
Related: A dad has spoken out about the mental toll of fatherhood — and the internet had a lot to say
What does being a “teammate” actually look like in real life?
Stripped of the celebrity context, the idea of being a teammate translates into everyday actions:
- Show up to appointments when possible.
- Asking how someone really feels and listening to the answer.
- Taking initiative rather than waiting to be directed.
Teamwork looks different in every family. What matters is that a partner does not feel that they are carrying the mental and emotional burden alone.
When careers are demanding and supporting issues are even more so
Both Allen and Steinfeld have careers fraught with intense schedules and public pressure. While most parents don’t have this level of visibility, many balance pregnancy alongside demanding or rigid jobs.
Pregnancy has a way of overcoming expectation mismatches. Who does the planning? Whoever foresees the needs. Who adapts first?
These moments can feel like friction, but they can also become opportunities to balance and reconnect before the baby arrives.
Related: The invisible birth that breaks moms: How uneven mental load affects mental health
How couples can build partnership before the baby arrives
From a relational or perinatal mental health perspective, strong collaboration during pregnancy often begins with communication rather than logistics. This might mean naming fears out loud, sharing planning responsibilities, and checking in emotionally rather than assuming everything is fine.
There is no such thing as a perfect scenario. What tends to matter most is intent, responsiveness, and willingness to adapt together.
Related: How pregnancy changes friendships – and how to nurture them
Because parents are hungry for this kind of supportive language
Discussions about mental load, emotional labor and invisibility during pregnancy have become louder for a reason. Many pregnant women feel physically centered and emotionally sidelined at the same time. Hearing language that affirms cooperation helps to cope with this experience. It validates the idea that pregnancy is not something that happens to one person while the other person watches from the sidelines.
Pregnancy works best when it is not treated as one person’s responsibility. Feeling like a teammate, not a supporting character, can change how pregnancy feels every day. There is no perfect language, but presence, intention and shared ownership go a long way.
Related: When pregnancy announcements don’t go as planned—this mom’s viral video hits hard
