If you’ve spent years—or even decades—trapped in the cycle of dieting, you probably know what it’s like to treat your body like a high-maintenance project. One factor that fuels this cycle is the fact that we have learned to view our bodies from outside in.
When we’re on this hamster wheel, we often ask ourselves questions like, “How do I look in these jeans? Is my stomach flat enough? Does this angle make me look ‘healthy’?”
I see this phenomenon every day in my clients and there is a name for it: self-objectification. While self-objectification is the silent thief of bodily peace, you can regain that peace by learning how to shift from “watching” your body to “inhabiting” it. How; Boosting a superpower you already possess, even if you haven’t used it in years (or decades). This is the superpower interference.
Before I proceed, I want to offer a few disclaimers: introspective awareness is often different in neurodeviant people, especially those with autism. For more information on this, I recommend occupational therapist Kelly Mahler’s website. Also, for people who have experienced body-based trauma, practicing being “in” their body may not be something they want to do without professional support because they may not feel safe and it can be energizing.
Understanding the “outside-in” trap: self-objectification
Self-objectification occurs when you prioritize the appearance of your body over its actual function and internal experience.You become your own most relentless paparazzi, constantly monitoring your physical “flaws” and adjusting your appearance to meet an external standard.
When you are in a state of self-objectification, you are essentially “living in your head.” Signs of self-objectification include using external metrics to decide how to treat yourself, such as:
- The scale: “The number is up, so I don’t deserve the bun.”
- The mirror: “I look bloated, so I’ll skip the beach today.”
- The fitness tracker: “I haven’t walked 10,000 steps, so I shouldn’t have dinner yet.”
The problem? When you are busy observing your body, you cannot touch your body. This creates a huge disconnect that makes it impossible to eat intuitively and can also contribute to a disturbed relationship with food and your body.
What is wiretapping?
If self-objectification is the “view from the outside,” interference is the “view from the inside. Scientifically speaking, interference is our ‘eighth sense’. It is the neurological process of sensing the internal state of the body. It is the feedback loop between your brain and your organs, muscles and skin.
When you have strong introspective awareness, you can accurately perceive:
- Hunger and fullness: The gentle growling or gentle stretching of the stomach.
- Heart rate: You feel your heart beating fast when you are anxious or slow when you are calm.
- Temperature: Knowing when you’re really cold versus just awkward.
- Bladder fullness: The key signal that it’s time to pee.
- Emotions: Feeling the “tightness” in the chest that signals anger or the “heaviness” that signals sadness.
For people with a history of dieting, the volume on their internal connection is often set to silent — because diet culture teaches us to ignore these body signals.
Consider the advice you may have heard to drink water when you’re hungry, or to ‘ride out’ pain during a workout. Over time, your brain decides that your internal signals are not important, so it begins to tone down. This is why many long-term breakfast skippers no longer feel hungry in the morning, even though their bodies need fuel after an overnight fast.
Because mutual understanding is the antidote to objectification
The good news is that you can’t obsess over your cellulite while being deeply connected to the rhythm of your breathing or the satisfaction of a delicious meal. These two states struggle to co-exist.
When you practice strengthening your interconnectedness, you move from physical surveillance (watching yourself) to body embodiment (be yourself). This shift is the foundation of the Intuitive Eating framework, by the way.
When you focus on how a food feels in your body (Does it provide energy? Does it settle well?), you naturally move away from the “good vs. bad” food ethic. You stop eating to look a certain way and start eating to feel a certain way.
How to reconnect with your body: a step-by-step guide
Rebuilding this connection takes time, especially if you’ve been offline for years. Here are some exercises that can help you begin the task of getting back into your body.
1. The “internal weather report”. Several times a day, stop what you are doing. Close your eyes (if it feels safe) and ask, “What’s the weather like inside right now?”
- Is there tightness?
- Is there a buzz of energy?
- Is there a feeling of hollowness in the stomach?
Don’t try to change it. Just name the. The remark of “I feel a weight on my shoulders” is a victory for eavesdropping.
2. The hunger discovery scale. Instead of waiting to feel “hungry” or “full,” try to find the nuances. Before you eat, check in. On a scale of 1–10, where is your hunger? Halfway hungry (a 3 or 4) feels different than a “hungry” 1. Learning to spot the “3” is how you build trust with your body. (Note: 5 is neither hungry nor full, 7 is full, 10 is so full you feel sick.)
3. Conscious movement (not performance movement). Change the exercise goals. Instead of “How many calories am I burning?” ask yourself, “How do my joints feel right now?” or “Can I feel the wind on my skin as I walk?” If a movement feels punishing or painful, the intervention gives you permission to stop.
4. The satisfaction factor. Objectification tells us to eat the option with the lowest calories. Interoception asks, “Is it really satisfying?” Sometimes, a salad is just what your body needs. Other times, your body needs something more filling like a burger to feel satisfied. Paying attention to the sensory pleasure of food is a powerful way to stay in your body.
The challenges: why is it difficult?
Let’s be real: reconnecting with your body isn’t always kittens and unicorns. As I touched on near the beginning of this post, for many, the body has been a site of trauma. He may also have suffered chronic pain or systemic oppression.
If you’ve spent years hating your body, “feeling” it can be overwhelming. That’s why it’s important to go slow. We don’t start with the parts of ourselves we struggle with the most – we start with the neutral parts. Can you feel your big toe? Can you feel the breath moving through your nostrils?
(A note on body neutrality: You don’t have to love how your body looks to appreciate how it feels. Interoception allows us to find a “neutral home” where we respect the body’s signals regardless of its shape.)
The freedom to be “in” your body
Imagine a life where your worth isn’t negotiated every morning in front of a mirror. Imagine a life where you eat because you’re hungry, stop because you’re full, and move because you feel good about being alive.
This life is not found in a new meal plan or a different workout routine. It lies in the quiet, inner signals that have been there all along, waiting for you to listen.
When you stop seeing yourself as an object to be fixed and start experiencing yourself as a person to be nurtured, the world opens up. You are not a project. You are a person. And you deserve to be present for your own life.
Take a moment now. If you feel okay doing so, place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Take a deep breath. Can you feel the movement under your palms? This is wiretapping. That’s you, you’re coming back.
Disclaimer: All information provided here is general in nature and provided for educational purposes only. This information should not be taken as medical or other health advice related to an individual’s specific health or medical condition. You agree that use of this information is at your own risk.
Hi, I’m Carrie Dennett, MPH, RDN, a weight that includes registered dietitian, nutritionist and body image consultant. I offer compassionate, personalized care for adults of all ages, shapes, sizes and genders who want to break free from eating disorders, disordered eating or years of dieting. If you need to learn how to management of IBS symptoms with food, or improve your eating and lifestyle habits to help manage a current health concern or just supporting your overall health and wellness, helping people with that too.
Need 1-on-1 help with your nutrition, food or body image concerns? Program a free 20-minute Discovery Call let’s talk about how I can help you and explore if we’re a good fit! I am in network with Regence BCBS, FirstChoice Health, Providence of Oregon Health Plan and United Healthcare and can bill Blue Cross and/or Blue Shield insurance in many states. If I don’t get your insurance, I can help you claim compensation yourself. To learn more, explore our insurance and service areas page.
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