People are often surprised when I state that I am an introvert.
What most people fail to recognize is that “being an introvert” is part of a spectrum. No one is 100% introverted, nor are they 100% extroverted.
Everyone is a little bit of both.
Another common misconception is that introversion is somehow related to depression or sadness or oppression. In my quest to find a suitable image to accompany this post, I simply typed “introvert” into thingamajiggy’s WordPress image finder and was quite surprised (if not slightly appalled) by what appeared on my screen:
Image after image of various people looking frustrated, anti-social and downright unhappy.
It was pretty impressive, because being an introvert means you probably need or need a little more downtime (or low-paced activities) to rejuvenate and recharge.
I remember when my wife and I first started dating, there was one night when I had just come back from a full day of coaching and was exhausted. All I wanted to do was collapse on the couch and watch House Hunters. Unfortunately (for me) it was a Saturday night and Lisa had already booked us to meet a group of her friends at a local lounge in downtown Boston.
Ten minutes into it it took all the willpower I could muster not to walk out of the place and straight into the path of the #66 bus down the street.
I just stood there with a blank stare and repeated one word answers as she and her friends tried to engage with me.
- “Tony, Lisa tells me you’re a personal trainer?” Yes.
- “How long have you been doing this?” For a while.
- “So what do you think about keto?” He grabs the beer bottle, smashes it over the counter, slits his throat.
When we finally left, we had one of our first arguments. I was clearly acting like an a-hole, but after explaining to her that the last thing I wanted to do after working out for eight hours was go to a bar and listen to Panic! At Disco, we understood each other’s needs better.
I explained that I wasn’t against going out and participating in social events, I just needed a little “buffer”.
Being a coach – inundated with constant noise and non-stop interaction – can be exhausting.
An introvert needs the opposite of that to feel refreshed and ready to go the next day.
To repeat: This it doesn’t it means we don’t like to do or participate in social activities.
Instead, in our free time we generally prefer:
✅ Read a book
✅ Enjoy a barrage of kitten hugs.
That’s pretty much it.
A common comment I get from other coaches and personal trainers is what would I recommend they do to compensate for their empty juice when they are in the middle of a long work day?
What can they do when they are five hours deep into a long work day and have a barrage of meetings to complete? It’s not like they can go into a hidden closet and take a nap.
(or can they????)
Similarly, it is the expectation that we have be the rah-rah, high-energy trainer who jumps up and down all over the place and does cartwheels after every set to be considered “good” or successful?
Listen, most of your clients aren’t expecting a Bad Bunny performance during their session.
Sure, there’s a time and a place to step things up and be the cheerleader, but I’ve found that more often than not…
…most customers don’t care about (fake) demonstrative nonsense.
You can still be an active and attentive coach without the theatrics.
That said, it still behooves you, introverted trainer, to be proactive and take occasional breaks throughout the day. These can be short 15-30 minute windows of solitude when you know a full day is coming up. Or, when you know you have a solid line of clients scheduled, it might be worth it to interrupt the day to do your own workout halfway through.
BUT MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL: DO NOT pray to this idea have to be an executive coach to be considered legitimate. This BS might get you likes on Instagram, but it won’t lead to anything but looks in the real world. Not to mention it certainly won’t do you any favors in terms of energy savings.
BUT EVEN MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL: Be sure to treat yourself to plenty of “me time” when you feel you need it. That could be sitting at home and watching a show, going to the movies, hanging out at a bookstore coffee shop, or, I don’t know, perusing your baseball card collection.
Remember: Being an introvert means this you are a fucking psycho you probably need more solo time to recharge.
It’s important to lean into it.
It will help make you a more engaged coach and your clients will benefit as well.
So, hello introvert friend. i see you What’s going on?
