For more than fifty years I helped men and their families live a fully healthy life. Over the years I have developed expertise in the emerging field of special gender treatment. I call what I do, just: “Men’s work”. A colleague of me writes a book, A call to the wise seniors: leaving a legacy of kindness for future generations. He asked me to contribute and address two questions:
1. “Why are you doing what you do?” Give a voice to the push that conveyed you to work to make those around you safer, more comfortable, more satisfied, and /or make the world a better place for future generations.
2. “What are you receiving?” Describe the way you personally feel are rewarded (emotionally, psychologically, spiritually) by the process of persecution of knowledge, resources, time and energy in service for a purpose greater than yourself.
See how I encountered these questions.
“Why are you doing what you do?” This is the answer that is more vibrant for me as I write today.
It has been said that the two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you discovered why. The first important day is simple and specific. I was born on December 21, 1943 in New York. On the day I discovered why it was November 21, 1969 at Kaiser Hospital in Vallejo, California.
The second important day requires a little more historical framework. When I met and fell in love with my first wife, we were students at UC Santa Barbara. As young couples do, we talked about the future and our desires for children. We agreed that as soon as we got married, we wanted two kids. We hoped that the first child would come naturally, but he decided that we wanted to adopt our second child so that a child who needs a good home.
Now back to Kaiser Hospital in 1969. After my husband was training with the relaxation and breathing techniques we had learned in Lamaze Child-Birting lessons, we were told that it was time for my wife to move to the delivery room. I still remember the words of the nurse.
“Okay, Mr. Diamond, your job is over now. You can go to the waiting room and we will let you know when your child arrives.”
I am sorry to have to leave at this point, but we were told the rules. Fathers are not allowed in the delivery room. I kissed my wife, I wish her well and the baby and told her I would see her soon. He was a wheelchair in one direction and I went in the other way.
But as I passed the doors of the waiting, something stopped me. I felt the call of my unborn child tell me:
“I don’t want a waiting father. Your part is here with us.”
I immediately returned and arrived at the delivery room. I came in and took my place on the head of the table as my wife started the final stages to bring our child to the world.
There was no doubt about my departure. I knew where he belonged. No hospital rule will keep me away. It didn’t take long for the final boost and our son, Jemal, came into the world in the midst of tears of joy and relief. Holding him for the first time, I did an oath that I would be a different father than my father was able to be for me and do everything I could to help create a world where the fathers were fully engaged with their families throughout their lives. Two and a half years later, we adopted a two -month -old, African -Americans, we called Angela.
For fifty -six years now I have worked in the emerging field of Men’s Special Medicine and Health. According to my colleague Marianne J. Legato, MD, the founder of the professional field of practice and his author The Rib of Eve: The new science of gender medical medicine and how can save your life,
“Until now, we have acted as men and women to have been essentially identical, except for differences in their reproductive function. In fact, the information we have gathered over the last ten years tells us that this is only true and that we see everywhere, the two sexes are initially and unexpectedly not only.
Dr. Legato recognizes that most of the catering in the field was in women. She has applauded my job with men and how she deepens and expands her work on sex and sex.
I have written seventeen books, including My distant dad: treatment of family father’s injury. The book narrates my father’s therapeutic journey since he got an overdose of hypnotic pills when I was five years old and committed to Camarillo State Hooldy Hospital to escape after his “treatments” made him worse.
It took many years and a lot of help and support to recover. I was also living with his heritage, as I was involved with my own depression and recovery over the years. I share what I learned in many on-line lessons: ‘Healing the wound of the family’s father’, and “Navigator in the 5 stages of love”.
My current woman, Carlin, and now I have six children, seventeen grandchildren and four big grandchildren. Our work in the world continues as we move to our eighties and explore our contributions as elders.
“What are you receiving?” The answer to this question would require more books than I have already written. But the simple answer is that with the involvement of this work, I am able to fulfill the destiny of my life, to fulfill the promise I made to my family, and to provide guidance and guidance for those who echo me and this vital therapeutic work that the world needs now.
After the publication of my fifteenth book, I thought that my books to write my time were full. It seemed that fifteen books were a good job to finish my career. My wife, Carlin, surprised me when she said,
“You have to write at least one more book. There is so much separation and conflict between men and women these days (This was at the height of the #MeToo movement and many men in promotion and power positions were charged with sexual abuse)You have to write a book about what is good for men. ”
I was amazed at her insistence, having always supported my writing, but never told me that I had to write another book. Books require a lot of research and time just to think and create. Take time away from family. I also wanted to do more teaching, training and guidance and less time to counseling and write books.
After deep reflection I agreed that I had some interest and energy to write books and started working on my 16sth book, 12 rules for good men and later my 17thth book, Long Live Men! The moon mission to heal men, close the lifetime gap and provide hope to humanity. I like to write and I feel it is a gift I want to continue to offer.
The gift of these elderly years is to deal with my children, grandchildren and grandchildren and the generations that will follow me. I believe that men are both carbon canaries that warn us of the dangers we face as humanity is still out of balance with the natural world. Therapeutic men are also hope for the future. I have also learned that when we treat men, we also cure our women, children and communities.
I dislike the words of the historian Thomas Berry who offered this warning and Invitation to Action.
“I never knew enough, nor were we close enough with all our cousins to the great family of the earth, nor can we hear the various creatures of the earth, each by telling his own story. Time has come now, however, when we hear or die. ”
The greatest gift that each of us can ask is to have the courage to accelerate the most difficult times we live in and support those who create, in the words of my colleague Charles Eisenstein,
“The most beautiful world knows our hearts.”
I look forward to connecting deeper.
Jed Diamond, PhD, LCSW, Founder/VHS (Visionary, Healer, Scholar in Residence) Menalive.com
