If you’ve practiced mindfulness, you know that this technique can help you connect to the present moment, boost your focus, increase patience, and more. What if you could apply these benefits to communication? Imagine how your relationships could improve.
Conscious communication takes practice, but it’s a skill you can develop and eventually create more meaningful connections. Here’s how it works and how you can apply it.
What does conscious communication really mean?
We communicate with others all the time. Human communication is, at its core, the transmission of information between a speaker and a receiver. These conversations can be very transactional when neither party is practicing mindfulness.
When both participants are consciously communicating, they are both attuned. The speaker examines what they say and the power of their words. The receiver aims to listen first and then to think and try to understand the message. Then they formulate a response.
Benefits of mindful communication
Applying conscious communication can lead to many positive outcomes, including:
Increased capacity for attention
Improved active listening
Better ability to read body language
Increased understanding of other’s needs
Better deep listening skills
Ultimately, all these positive changes lead to better interpersonal communication and relationships. In fact, a whole body of research supports it. In one study, researchers collected survey data from 34 leaders and 98 employees. There was a positive correlation between leaders’ self-reported mindfulness and employee satisfaction, ultimately driven by employee-perceived communication mindfulness. [*]
*Write down the ways you want to be intentional with your mindful communication using a mindfulness journal. Take a look at ours Amazon page!
How to improve your conscious communication
1. Set a communication commitment
To enter a conversation in a conscious state, you must first set that intention. Before starting a conversation, ask yourself what purpose the conversation serves. Looking to connect? Understanding? Exchange of information; Problem Solving? Once you set this commitment, use it to guide your actions during the conversation. [*]
2. Listen first
Most people listen with the intent to respond, not with the intent to understand. However, when you give the speaker your undivided attention without aiming to respond, you can really get their message, make connections, and have truly successful communication.
When someone else is talking, try to zero in on their words. Notice when you feel yourself starting to try to compare their message to your own experiences and let those thoughts go so you can refocus on what you’re hearing.
3. Notice the power of words
Every word you use means that the other person will receive and process. It is important to be aware of your choice of words in all interactions, especially in difficult conversations. Give yourself time to think about what message you want to get across before you speak to make sure the other person gets your truth.
4. Avoid premature judgment and mind
One thing that can take you out of the present moment is making judgments. You may form opinions about what someone tells you as they tell you Or, you might be trying to read their mind and determine in advance where their story is going. Either way, this habit can distract you and prevent you from giving your full attention.
Instead, aim to take a non-judgmental approach. Without judgment, you have more room to respond with compassion.
5. Follow the link
It can be difficult to constantly check yourself during the conversation to make sure you are being a careful communicator. Even that act alone can take you out of the moment. To make it easier for yourself, you can aim to follow the link.
As you engage in conversations, focus on tuning in to the other person. As you zero in on what they’re saying, what emotions they’re communicating, and what they’re talking about, you’ll find that you can respond with empathy and ultimately connect with the other person. Then let that sense of connection guide how you respond.
6. Use your body language to show your presence
Part of practicing self-talk has to do with what you say with your physical presence. Body language can tell others a lot about your emotional state, whether you’re listening, how you feel about the conversation, what your stress level is, and more.
Paying attention to your body language can go a long way. It can show the other person that you remain open to what they are saying even when you are silent. It can also encourage the other person to talk. Make eye contact, avoid crossing your arms, and show that you are engaged with what they are saying.
7. Breathe to ground yourself
It can be difficult to stay fully present in a conversation. Sometimes, especially during difficult conversations, you may need to take steps to refresh yourself. If necessary, take a few deep breaths to help clear your mind and move forward with intention.
Becoming a more mindful communicator takes practice. However, the more you tune into the connection you make with others, listen to understand, and choose your words carefully, the more effective communication you will enjoy. To help you stay on track, be sure to use a mindfulness journal.
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